Worksheet templates
Copy, adapt, and fill these with users. Do not present all worksheets at once; choose the smallest useful one.
Soft start-up
- Specific event:
- Feeling:
- Meaning or concern:
- Positive need:
- Small request:
- Final sentence: “When ____, I felt ____. I need/would appreciate ____. Could we ____?”
Repair after a regrettable incident
- What I did:
- What impact it had:
- What I was feeling underneath:
- What I can own without excuses:
- What I will do differently:
- What choice or space I will give my partner:
- Repair sentence:
Time-out and return
- My flooding signs:
- Break signal:
- Break length:
- Return time:
- Calming actions:
- Things I will not do during the break:
- Return opener:
Listener summary
- Speaker topic:
- Listener summary:
- Validation sentence:
- Speaker correction:
- Revised summary:
- One request:
Attachment cycle map
- Trigger:
- My protective move:
- Their protective move:
- My story/meaning:
- Their possible story/meaning:
- My softer feeling:
- My need:
- My new move:
- Their requested new move:
Connection-before-analysis reset
For the next seven days:
- Daily no-problem ritual:
- One appreciation:
- One small act of care:
- One topic we will not analyse during the ritual:
- Day 7 discussion topic:
- Ten-minute conversation time:
Dreams within conflict
- Recurring issue:
- My position:
- What this position protects:
- Fear if I give in:
- Value or dream underneath:
- Family/cultural history:
- What I need understood:
- What is flexible:
- What is core:
- One part of your dream I respect:
Compromise circles
- Inner circle core needs:
- Inner circle values:
- Outer circle flexible preferences:
- Possible overlap:
- Two-week experiment:
- Review date:
- Success signs:
Love Maps mini-date
- What has been on your mind this week?
- What are you looking forward to?
- What are you worried about?
- What has felt good lately?
- What do you wish I understood better?
- One thing I learned about you:
Bids audit
- Bid I noticed:
- How I responded:
- Turned toward, away, or against:
- What got in the way:
- Better micro-response:
- One bid I will make clearly:
Weekly relationship meeting
- Appreciations:
- What went well:
- One issue only:
- Partner A perspective:
- Partner B summary and validation:
- Partner B perspective:
- Partner A summary and validation:
- Each person owns one small part:
- This week’s experiment:
- Review date:
- Closing connection ritual:
Trust repair observables
- Broken agreement:
- Impact:
- What must stop:
- What must start:
- What transparency is appropriate:
- What would become surveillance or obsession:
- Review rhythm:
- Support needed:
Brakes and accelerators
Brakes:
- Stress:
- Conflict:
- Resentment:
- Body image:
- Pain or medical issue:
- Pressure:
- Environment:
- Timing:
- Sensory factors:
- Trust:
Accelerators:
- Emotional safety:
- Flirting:
- Novelty:
- Privacy:
- Touch:
- Words:
- Fantasy:
- Admiration:
- Relaxation:
This week we will remove one brake: This week we will add one accelerator:
Desire discrepancy conversation
- What I miss or long for:
- What I do not want to pressure you about:
- What no currently means to me:
- How I can handle no better:
- Touch or affection that feels welcome:
- Touch or affection that feels stressful:
- A no-pressure next step:
- Review date:
No-pressure affection menu
Always welcome:
Sometimes welcome:
Ask first:
Not now:
Definitely not:
Rule: affection from this menu does not imply escalation unless explicitly agreed.
Pleasure debrief
- One thing I liked:
- One thing I want more of:
- One thing I want less of:
- One moment I felt close:
- One moment I felt pressure or distraction:
- One thing to try next time:
Erotic aliveness audit
- I feel most alive when:
- I feel least erotic when:
- I feel drawn to you when:
- I miss this part of myself:
- A fantasy category or mood I’m curious about:
- A low-risk experiment I would enjoy:
Kink consent map
- Desired theme:
- Why it appeals:
- Hard limits:
- Soft limits:
- Words/actions that are not okay:
- Slow-down signal:
- Stop signal:
- Physical risks:
- Emotional triggers:
- Aftercare:
- Debrief plan:
CNC discussion map
- Fantasy-only or possible roleplay?
- What emotional tone appeals?
- What is absolutely off-limits?
- What words/actions stop the scene immediately?
- How will we distinguish roleplay from real no?
- What aftercare is required?
- What would make this unsafe?
- Do both of us freely want this?
Flirting message builder
- Context:
- Desired tone: sincere, playful, direct, gentle, bold.
- Specific observation:
- Warm compliment or curiosity:
- Clear invitation:
- No-pressure ending:
- Final message:
Love languages as care menu
Current top care forms:
- Words:
- Quality time:
- Acts of service:
- Gifts/tokens:
- Physical touch:
Make each specific:
- A sentence that lands:
- A quality-time ritual:
- An act that would genuinely help:
- A small token that would feel thoughtful:
- A touch that feels welcome:
Stay-or-leave clarity matrix
- What is painful now?
- What have I already tried?
- What has changed in observable behaviour?
- What has only been promised?
- What would need to change by a specific date?
- What am I responsible for?
- What is my partner responsible for?
- What support do I need?
- What would I advise a close friend in my position?
Safety-oriented next step
Use only when normal couples coaching is not appropriate.
- What makes this unsafe or risky:
- Can I use this device safely?
- Trusted person or specialist support:
- If immediate danger, emergency option:
- One thing not to disclose to the unsafe partner right now:
- One small next step that does not increase risk: