/relationship-science-coach

Session templates and programmes

Use these when the user asks for a full plan, coaching session, worksheet sequence, or multi-week reset.

10-minute urgent de-escalation session

Use when a fight is active but no safety red flags are present.

1. Stop content: “We are not solving this while escalated.”
2. Each person rates intensity 0 to 10.
3. If either is above 7, take a 20 to 40 minute break.
4. During break: no rehearsing attacks, no alcohol, no revenge texting.
5. Return script: “The part I understand is... The part I need you to understand is...”
6. Pick one next action, not full resolution.

30-minute conflict repair session

Use after a regrettable incident.

1. Appreciation or good intent, one sentence each.
2. Speaker A: what happened for me, two minutes.
3. Listener B: summary and validation, no rebuttal.
4. Switch.
5. Each names one thing they did that made it worse.
6. Each makes one repair.
7. Agree one prevention move for next time.
8. Close with a small connection ritual.

45-minute recurring problem session

Use for gridlock or same fight.

1. Define the issue neutrally.
2. No persuasion for ten minutes.
3. Partner A answers dream-under-position prompts.
4. Partner B summarises and names one respected part.
5. Switch.
6. Create compromise circles.
7. Choose a two-week experiment.
8. Schedule review.

Weekly relationship meeting

Use when the couple wants maintenance.

Rules:

• Same time each week.
• 20 to 30 minutes at first.
• No ambush topics.
• One issue only.
• Start and end with connection.

Agenda:

1. Three appreciations.
2. What went well.
3. One issue.
4. Speaker-listener turns.
5. Each owns one small part.
6. One experiment.
7. Date, ritual, or affectionate close.

Attachment-cycle session

Use for pursue-withdraw or anxious/avoidant patterns.

1. Name the cycle as the enemy.
2. Map trigger, protective move, partner move, meaning, primary emotion, need.
3. Each person translates one secondary move into softer truth.
4. Build one new move.
5. Agree a return-time rule.
6. Practise the new script aloud.

Example new moves:

• Pursuer: one clear ask, then self-soothe.
• Withdrawer: one reassurance sentence, then timed break and return.

Connection-before-analysis week

Use when relationship talks make things worse.

For seven days:

• Daily 10-minute no-problem contact.
• One specific appreciation.
• One small act of care.
• No relationship analysis during the ritual.
• On day 7, discuss one issue for 15 minutes using listener summaries.

Desire discrepancy session

Use for mismatched desire or low sex.

1. State goal: understanding, not obligation.
2. Each names what sex means emotionally.
3. Map brakes.
4. Map accelerators.
5. Define welcome, maybe, and not-now touch.
6. Decide one no-pressure closeness experiment.
7. Decide how to handle no kindly.
8. Review after one week.

Erotic reset programme, four weeks

Use for couples wanting spark without pressure.

Week 1: Safety and pressure reset.

• No-pressure affection menu.
• Debrief what creates pressure.

Week 2: Flirtation and anticipation.

• One flirty text each.
• One non-sexual date with novelty.

Week 3: Pleasure exploration.

• Pleasure debrief.
• Explore welcome touch without goal pressure.

Week 4: Erotic aliveness.

• Each shares one fantasy category, not a demand.
• Choose one low-risk experiment.

Kink conversation session

Use for adult consensual kink curiosity.

1. Clarify that discussion is not consent to do it.
2. Name the fantasy theme and emotional appeal.
3. Name hard limits.
4. Name soft limits.
5. Name stop and slow signals.
6. Discuss aftercare.
7. Discuss risk and safer alternatives.
8. Decide whether to keep it fantasy-only, discuss later, or try a low-risk version.

If breath play, choking, or neck pressure appears, advise against technique and offer safer alternatives.

Flirting reset for long-term couples

Use when partners feel like roommates.

For one week:

• One specific compliment per day.
• One playful text.
• One non-logistics conversation.
• One novelty micro-date.
• One affectionate gesture that does not imply sex.

Review:

• What felt forced?
• What felt alive?
• What should continue?

Dating coaching session

Use for early dating or asking someone out.

1. Identify context and relationship.
2. Choose style: sincere, playful, direct, gentle.
3. Write one message.
4. Check for pressure or ambiguity.
5. Plan response to yes, no, or no reply.

Trust repair programme, six weeks

Use for betrayal without active safety issues.

Week 1: Stabilise.

• Stop ongoing betrayal.
• Set conversation windows.
• Reduce chaos.

Week 2: Accountability.

• Accountable apology.
• Impact listening.

Week 3: Reality and boundaries.

• Clarify facts needed for reality, not obsession.
• Define boundaries.

Week 4: Observable trust.

• Time-limited transparency behaviours.
• Review triggers.

Week 5: Meaning and prevention.

• Why did this happen?
• What will change structurally?

Week 6: Reconnection decision.

• What has changed?
• What still hurts?
• What support is needed?

Stay-or-leave clarity session

Use when no immediate safety red flags exist.

1. Safety screen.
2. Identify what the user wants to know.
3. List pain points.
4. List evidence of change.
5. List evidence of repeated pattern.
6. Clarify values and non-negotiables.
7. Define a time-bound repair experiment if appropriate.
8. Identify support and practical constraints.

Do not decide for the user. Provide a clearer frame.